The rise of dating apps has transformed our romantic prospects, connecting us with potential matches miles away rather than steps away. But this expanded reach may be fueling one of modern dating's most painful phenomena: ghosting.

How We Used to Meet

In the past, we typically met romantic interests through friends, local events, or work. These networks created a built-in accountability system. If you treated someone poorly, word would get around to your social circle. The chance of an awkward run-in at your neighborhood cafe encouraged considerate behaviour.

The App-Driven Shift

Dating apps have upended this dynamic. When you match with someone from a different part of town, the social ties and geographic closeness that once fostered respectful conduct disappear. No mutual acquaintance will give you a disappointed look. No uncomfortable encounter at the grocery store.

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

This physical and social distance creates an odd psychological effect. The person on the other end of the chat feels less real, less important. After all, how invested are you really? A few swipes, some witty banter - the low barrier to entry often translates to low perceived value of these connections.

Power of presence

Compare this to meeting in person. When you've occupied the same space as someone, made eye contact, perhaps even met through mutual friends, a fundamental respect develops. You're more likely to let them down easy than vaporize without a word.

Disposable Digital Connections

It's a jarring reality that we're more apt to ghost a virtual stranger than someone we've met, in part because digital-only connections can feel disposable. The same technology meant to foster connection may actually enable us to treat each other as less than human.

Bringing Back Accountability

This isn't just about etiquette - it's about preserving empathy in an increasingly digital world. Whether someone lives two blocks or twenty miles away, they deserve basic human decency.

Perhaps it's time to refocus on local, community-driven dating, where natural accountability encourages more mindful behavior. True connection requires more than an algorithm - it takes presence, respect, and the courage to communicate with care, even in difficult moments.

Let's bring humanity back to how we treat each other in the dating world. Proximity may have hidden power - it just might be the key to ending the age of ghosting once and for all.

The Surprising Way Dating Apps Enable Ghosting: Why Proximity Breeds Accountability

by francesa, founder